Category: Blog

I don’t have a lot to share today, so this update will be brief. I am excited to enter some of my short story projects to local magazines. “Women on the Camino del Norte” is almost done. I intend to submit it to more contests instead of self publishing it.

My next set of interconnected stories about my family will be collectively titled “Fireflies in the Tides.” It will be six short stories – three on mom, dad and grandmother, two on my life, and one where all of us talk about how we got to where we are today. It definitely is aimed at national level publications.

I plan to start a Gotham poetry class in May and possibly start one more project that I haven’t decided on yet. After we visit Japan in September, I want to write a novelette called “The Men’s Travelogue” for local publications like Hawaii Pacific Review, Manoa, Bamboo Ridge Press, etc.

There is a growing feeling of doubt watching Jackie descend into desperation due to how her life has been changed by Las Vegas. I know she really wants an upstanding publisher to accept a mental health story. I think that it should be speculative, and not a tragicomedy like “The Men’s Travelogue.” I have lost faith in mainland America after how they treated Jackie. Even third world countries wouldn’t do things like that to people. The unjustified hatred has become unbearable.

I want to point out that those without an education often see things the way society wants them to see it, and believe things that the media, society, and leadership want them to believe. They very rarely go against the grain to think independently. For example, how being a certain personality type does not make you smart, that looking pretty does not make you mean, and the only people who can be trusted are those who they find relatable. They think designer products are worth having because society says so, that luxury and comfort are eternal, and that the things society imposed on the rat race are prized desires. So, to conclude my little social experiment, I see it as society’s fault that they are the way they are.

Deep down, a driving motivation is anxiety and fear. They are afraid that food stamps will run out at the end of the month, that their friend is eating better than them, of losing the things they want or accruing the things that they don’t. They often don’t like themselves, even, because society told them so. I don’t think they are sheep inside, they are mice. They bite you if they feel threatened, and people use them by manipulating their senses of fear and pleasure, not by getting them to think clearly or understand the truth.

They are not the real villains, though they imitate the kinds of indoctrination society instills in order to maintain the system. It’s like Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World” where people are divided into A,B,C,D, and F. How could you keep the F group from retaliating except by reinforcing social values? The A group, on the other hand, are designed to lead. They see beyond these social norms, but end up reinforcing it by climbing to the top. It is like how guys without an education often chase after a pretty face, and the princes with good grades most often chase after a pretty heart. Mice are designed to oppress themselves. In other words, they are little predators inside, preyed on by those who keep them blind.

So many bad things are happening to friends and family, it’s getting scary. I wish I knew how to turn things around, especially for Jackie. Some days it feels like we’re living on borrowed time, and no progress is being made.

I’m considering taking some Japanese language classes being offered at UH Manoa Outreach which start this Summer, as well as sci-fi/fantasy writing at Gotham later on in the year. It feels like something really bad is going on, not just in the world but on my side of things. I don’t think that turning “Grace” in will improve things for anyone.

I wonder how Jake is doing. Without him around, it feels like I’m just killing time. Next week mom’s boss has another open house. After “Fireflies in the Tides,” I’m hoping my abilities will have returned enough to write “Anastasia and the Boy Prince.” With that being said, I hope for good things this year.

As much as I’d like to return to writing speculative fiction, my writer’s block absolutely won’t let me. It is resulting in very bad things happening to friends and family. Sometimes it feels like almost nobody is on my side and that too many of those who are, are doing it for the wrong reasons. Here I am, stuck at an intersection, wondering how to make things right again for Jackie and the mental health community. It feels like a waiting game where the only way to make things better again is to reach some benchmark such as an election or other turning point.

In terms of my personal life, I am still waiting for mom’s boss’ house to be sold, or for any changes that would improve my life for that matter. It sometimes feels like I have nothing to look forward to this year besides the Japan trip in another six months. I was hoping to complete four projects this year, though it’s not coming along too well yet. I might end up taking more classes up to the next election cycle. I’m wondering if there’s anything up ahead that I should plan for in the near future.

I want to state my true feeling here. Too many people in this world see only what they want to see and believe only what they want to believe. They act on these beliefs and for a while it makes them feel like winners. That is why Trump started this racially motivated war with Iran, for example. Ignoring all signs, he decided to only listen to those who say things that he wants to hear. It ends up not working out most of the time because the truth has value. Realness exists, and it will not leave if you ignore it. That is my explanation why so many people reject the “coolest” stories, trends or people of value. They seem smart until you realize that their alternative option is white supremacy or some other preconceived bias.

A lot of terrible things have been happening lately, especially to family and friends. I’m working on a sequel to “The Women’s Travelogue” called “Women on the Camino del Norte.” It follows the same characters as they travel to Spain. Among the disheartening topics, my mom is going blind and Jackie has been very gloomy.

Here, I’d like to point out that I don’t necessarily think that the United States will lose and fall at the hands of China. Trump’s America, possibly. However, I feel that there is reason to believe that the situation is not a hopeless one.

My dad might be going abroad again soon and mom’s boss’ house hasn’t had any new buyers. So, the situation is stressful. I really wish that I could avoid trouble and remain stable until the upcoming election, with the hope that things will get better for Jackie.

By the way, here are some comments I’d made about my books that I’d posted to facebook:

Ultimately, one main theme of Night in NYC is about giving up your inhibitions, your desires, and instead choosing to pick up the sword and fight for your beliefs, whether you are young or old, rich or poor. If the reader falls in love with the story, they will become more like Rain.

Suburbia is about how beautiful the world can be, then letting it all come crashing down in the end. Ultimately, it’s a story of love, and how it rises above the desire to claim, and all obstacles, even death. I guess it’s kind of my very ambitious Americana fantasy.

A Place for Us is about not succeeding at the cost of the suffering of others. Don’t let Lydia die just so you can become a nurse and send your kids to private school.

Calling on the Sea is about how angry I am at someone who sabotaged my writing. So, I intentionally did not work very hard on it.

The Women’s Travelogue is mostly designed to relieve stress and give readers the assurance that I’m actually on their side.

In Love in the Modern World, there are a lot of Native American themes and it represents the authenticity I try to bring to my work

In the Winter of My Dreams is ultimately inspired by how much I love Jake and it is supposed to be romantic. There’s some allusions to The Joy Luck Club and Asian American identity

Ohio Beauty’s theme is another Americana story about mental health that is inspired by wild horses and McCarthy.

Anastasia and the Boy Prince is about empathy for the damned

Take Me As I Am is the real mental health story where they challenge social norms, cross magical boundaries and demand representation in America

Women on the Camino del Norte is mostly based on the same theme as the first volume and experiments with more character interaction, storytelling and happily ever after

You’re welcome.

I really want to take a break from writing. I am taking some writing classes online up until May. We have no plans after that until the China/Japan trip in September. Probably, Night in NYC will go through heavy editing. For some reason, my grammar is getting worse and I just have to deal with it. I’m wondering if I’d benefit from a grammar class.