Tomorrow we will be taking the dogs out to the sand bar by Hawaii Kai. This entire year, Yuki has barely left the house so this will be a big treat. My counselor says that I can tentatively be discharged from day program around next week. Since I have been preparing for Japanese class, yesterday might possibly have been my final day in program. My class should start on January 12, around the same time as eCornell.
I don’t know how to feel about what I want to do with the rest of my life. It is probably a common feeling for people in their mid-thirties. It might be a while before I see Jake and I want to make use of my free time instead of sitting around waiting for other people to decide things for me. I guess that’s why I want to write, learn Japanese, etc. I’m considering visiting all these places I’ve never been to such as Sri Lanka, Japan, São Paulo Brazil and New Zealand. I want to visit Guam one day as well. I heard that Southeast Asia is high on crime these days, which is why I might avoid there. I know my mom’s friend backpacks and makes being in her 50’s look easy. If only life were that simple.
In terms of relatives, many of us cousins will probably leave earth without marrying or having children. Sometimes I think about the movie I watched on the plane called “Tunnel to Summer, the End of Goodbyes.” Japanese culture in movies does present a more dignified picture of aging, disability and sadness that often leaves room for hope.
I don’t really know much about 2026. I was optimistic that it would come with good news, new friends and blessings. But, based on people’s grimaces when I ride the bus or go to program, I have come to the conclusion that it might not be the best year. What can I do? How can I be of help to my best friend? When will I see Jake again? I was promised basking in the Bahamas one day, and at this rate I don’t know if I even have the patience to bask.
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